Babbling Brooke 2nd Edition

I have been spending a lot of time at kids sporting events lately and I feel like the enjoyment of these activities have been somewhat exaggerated and even glorified by the masses. It’s like people get brainwashed and all start nodding and saying things like “eating dinner at 5 and then coming here for 2 hrs really does fit everyone’s schedule on a Tuesday- I hope there is OT so we can stay longer” or “the seats aren’t that bad” or “at least it’s not raining” or “the bathrooms are unlocked!!”.

Now my experiences have mostly been on public baseball fields but I have interviewed my friends who have served their time on the lacrosse, basketball, swimming, soccer, tennis, equestrian and Volleyball circuits to gauge their experiences- and it seems unanimous that the volleyball tournaments are the most dreaded of all events that a parent could be forced to attend.

I am lucky as my kids only play one sport at a time and no travel teams, which I hear is a whole other level of hell. And it seems all of these travel sports are also in horrible locations like Arizona in August and literal Motel 6’s on the side of the highway where you know something sketch is going down and you are afraid to touch the bedding.

So here is what I have concluded all kids sporting events have in common:

• Bad Parking situations. Just horrible. Always.

• Questionable lavatories- and these can REALLY vary from not having any restrooms at all, to just cement blocks with toilets and drains with an easily clean up after a murder vibe, to actual real bathroom stalls with sinks, soap and paper towels- but these will likely be locked. Because it would make way too much sense for them to be unlocked when there are hundreds of people there that need to pee.

• Horrible seating options- most are just uncomfortable and dirty. This past week the bleachers looked clean and then I placed my nice purse in basically some sort of melted lollypop situation. Some places have no seating at all- and the bring your own chair options never live up to the hype and are so cumbersome to carry that you see people using wagons to lug their seating. Whenever you are lugging shit in a wagon it normally means a lot of “assembly required” is coming- and likely done by you- normally somewhere windy and with no shade. You will not see me in one of these chair pods.

  

• Constant Changes and Poor Communications- Times of games, times of practices, who is coaching, which field and most importantly which side. I feel like the Home/Guest identification could be so easily solved but it’s almost like people purposely don’t solve it so the parents have something to talk about until the game starts.

• Keeping Score- I have checked they have apps for this! But even the teams that supposedly are using them NO ONE ever knows what the score is, which inning it is or even just the basics of “who is winning”. I just find this in 2024 hysterical. And 90% of the times there are scoreboards but only 5% of the time are they actually turned on/working.

A moment for Little League Umpires- like has anyone ever taken a job so seriously! They are a grumpy bunch. I am like sir “these are 10 yr olds who really just want to wrap this up so they can get some Chick Fil A and go home and play fortnite- really they do not need a lecture on keeping the strike zone clean”. There are a couple refs that remind me of Mike Myers character Dieter from Sprockets, who like can put up with the children until a certain point and then I feel like they will break out with “your story has grown very tiresome, it is time to dance” And honestly a little dance on the sidelines would be welcomed.

I would like to offer a few suggestions on how the experience could be improved. I do realize that all of this would require some sort of management and money- and since most of the public spaces are run by county government, I realize these are dreams.

• Better Food situations. If you have a concession stand- great- if you open it - even better. But seriously a Taco Truck or a Pizza Truck would kill it.

• Better Libations- Margaritas and a cold beer would be great for the parents, but I would take just like bottles of water and a fountain coke as a starting point.

• StretchLab Stations or those portable massage chairs that you just lean onto- and we don’t need to hire professionals- you could just corral the group of unsupervised ragamuffin younger siblings who have been running up and down and under the bleachers screaming the whole game- to use their energies for good and help the old people.

And if dreams did come true, my friend Stewart suggested that all facilities have their own version of Berkman’s Place where the parents hang out- a good restaurant, bar, spa, napping pods with the games streamed in and you get like an amber alert when your kid is getting put it, is about to get on deck, etc.- no more sitting there watching all the other kids that you truly don’t give a shit about watching anyway.

One side note on attendees to outdoor events- specifically horse shows, soccer or baseball. Bring your dog if they are sweet - it seriously makes my whole experience better if I have a 4 legged friend to talk to while everyone tries to figure out what inning we are in- BUT don’t show up to a crowded outdoor event with your asshole dog- like if they “may bite” “don’t like knew people” or “don’t liked to be touched or petted”- like why bring them to a public event?

Coffee Mug of The Week- I have really been digging this Target Mug, which is a find from my friend Carrie Tucker and Bloc Bags, who you need to follow and buy one of her cute bags that benefit foster kids.

Current Book Stack- It’s a motley crew of books right now-Amor Towles is going slower because it is short stories, so it gives natural stopping points. I am really liking it just not staying up all night like I did with Lincoln Highway. Funny Story is going with me to the beach. I downloaded Good Material for my 8 hr roundtrip drive this week. Have been cherishing each story of Haskell Harris’s book- she is a great writer and you can just tell has a good soul. A new cookbook to inspire me that I look through with coffee. I have slowly been reading the Lyndon Johnson book in the mornings- I love Doris Kearns Goodwin- but the font is so small in this book I may have to move to audio. And at the bottom of the stack interior inspiration from Carrier and Company- beautiful rooms made better by many with 4 legged friends featured.

Shows- I was so excited for Killing Eve Season 4- so I binged all week- I was disappointed-it has jumped the shark in this final season. But Fiona Shaw’s Carolyn could be one of my favorite characters of all time. Headed to the beach this week and I think Palm Royale is on the viewing docket.

Have you ever thought about what a privilege it is to be able to read and read whatever we want- we are taught to read and have the ability to learn to read- some people’s brain don’t allow them this gift. Some places in the world (and sadly closer by) what you can read is censored. It is just such an immense joy to be able to pick up a book and go places your never been and meet so many new people and learn new things, but I think most importantly learn that you are not alone. The commonality across our human existence is staggering and every time I get a new book, I feel like I made a new friend. Some of these friends are your besties, some are teachers, some are bullies, some inspire you, some leave your longing for a time past or one you hope is yet to come, but they all leave you a little something.